10 Things Only Simps Say:

1. “Good morning, beautiful. Did you sleep well?” (Said every morning, even if she’s left him on read for three days.)

2. “You don’t have to text back if you’re busy, I just want you to know I’m here for you.” (He’s been ghosted, but hope springs eternal.)

3. “I’ll take care of it, don’t worry about paying me back.” (Translation: I’m funding your lifestyle because maybe someday you’ll notice me.)

4. “She’s just misunderstood; people don’t see how amazing she really is.” (Defending someone who openly disrespects him.)

5. “You deserve the world, and I just want to give it to you.” (He’s still financing that world with his credit card debt.)

6. “I’m not like those other guys; I actually respect women.” (Classic simp attempt to stand out, ironically used by every simp.)

7. “Your boyfriend doesn’t treat you right; if I had the chance, I’d show you what real love is.” (Stuck in the perpetual “friend zone” vortex.)

8. “If you need anything, anything, just let me know.” (Even if it’s 3 a.m. and she needs a ride across town to meet another guy.)

9. “Wow, I’m so lucky you even talk to me.” (Setting the bar for self-respect somewhere around rock bottom.)

10. “You’re way out of my league, but I’ll always be here for you no matter what.” (Admitting defeat while doubling down on simping.)

These phrases are prime examples of simping behavior, often involving over-the-top devotion, minimal reciprocation, and an endless supply of emotional (and sometimes financial) support. If you’re saying or doing any of these things, please check yourself.